Insert the words; my child, myself, my student, my colleague, or someone’s name in the blanks as appropriate.

I will not enable my __________ by allowing excuses. I will help ____________ choose appropriate piano tasks & goals for ____________ life as it is now and expect ____________ to stick to it, re-evaluating on a regular basis.

Through the years, I have been the victim of my share of blaming and excuses for little or no practicing. I had a lot of homework, my sister had a lot of homework, I didn’t understand it, my Mom didn’t understand it,  I was busy, you didn’t hear it last week, I couldn’t find my books, I forgot until last night, I was working on my science fair project, I left my books at my Dad’s, I can’t practice on Sundays (and the rest of the week?), people kept bothering me, my Mom forgot to remind me, and many more ad infinitum.

The best excuse I ever heard was from a colleague who had a student tell her- I could not practice because I was out walking my pig. I tend to be too softhearted about these things. I find it hard to impose my personal priorities on my students. Red Socks fans say that baseball is not a matter of life or death- being a Red Socks fan is. Substitute music and playing the piano in the appropriate places and you have my point of view.

I also tend to be pragmatic. If a student doesn’t practice they are simply not going to progress. Those who have the discipline to practice consistently will eventually pass up even their more talented classmates. Some time ago, while reading an article about the one-armed pianist Jamey Ray, I was reminded of all those who who have overcome great adversity to succeed in music. The items at the top of this post are petty when compared to the challenges these musicians face and rise above daily. (also see Piano Addict post: Summer Reading: Quintet)

Through the years, I personally have worked with wonderful students facing a variety of challenges; asberger syndrome, severe scoliosis, learning issues caused by cancer treatment, rheumatoid arthritis, recent loss of a parent, two missing fingers, limited vision, a jailed parent, the need to walk a half mile daily to access a piano, congenital heart defects, and one 13 year old who took care of herself and a sibling because her parents were incapable. I have met students at competitions and evaluations who were wheelchair bound, had genetic deformities, were deaf, and some who rose above tremendous cognitive problems.

Have I ever heard blaming or excuses from a single one of these students? Never! In fact they tend to have cheerful dispositions and take responsibility for their choices. Perhaps the next time a student begins to prevaricate I should simply put my fingers in my ears and loudly say la la la. Alternatively, I could hand them a sheet of pre-digested excuses in lieu of theirs or, better yet, sweetly ask if they are missing an arm or perhaps a leg.

Some of the content is from a vintage post first published July 8, 2010

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